Posted in Thoughts

Part 1: Losing

Once upon a time, there was a talented, brilliant, Princess. She was the only daughter of the beloved King and Queen and enjoyed the attentions of men and women alike. She insisted that she was extremely happy.

But being the only daughter and the only Princess came at a price. She had the responsibility and immense pressure of being the best and only the best. She was to have no faults. Her mother and father pushed her to excel in all of her academic lessons, she was to know more languages than one could count on both their hands, she was to be able to solve any sum, care for any animal and to win at any sport. She had no limitations in what she wanted to learn, as long as she succeeded.

During the day she was confident, brilliant and witty, but at night, her terrors was haunt her relentlessly. They terrorised her with venomous thoughts about what would happen if she wasn’t the best. She would be known as a disappointment, abandoned and humiliated. She had no one to confide her troubles so she kept them hidden away in her dreams.

Until one unfortunate day, when her mother died. Her death devastated the whole kingdom, but none more so than her father, who loved her more than all of the loves of kings and husbands combined. He became cold and desolate. A wasteland where flowers would no longer bloom. He would not be comforted by anyone, including his only daughter.

He merely brooded over her achievements and made sure that she had no faults.

Her fears and night terrors grew heavy and could no longer be contained in the night but was felt and kept in her mind and her bones. Festering in her body.

Her hands would shake and her legs quiver. After her lessons she would abandon any social interaction and hide in her room. Sometimes she would curl herself into a corner and would wish to vanish into the walls, never to be bothered again.

Her father did not talk to her or notice his daughter’s state.

One day, she visited the physician and he gave her special medication that would stop the shaking and calm her heart and clear her mind. This worked for some time, the Princess was able to go through the notions with a calm if uncaring mind.

But soon it wasn’t enough.

She kept taking the medicine but the affect was not what she hoped for, she wasn’t cured. She wasn’t normal. She didn’t stop panicking, she was still frightened of using her voice.

Her father did not acknowledge her existence and behaved horrifically towards his kingdom. Taxing them for the emotional pain he believed he had suffered despite his lack of recognition of his daughter’s suffering.

So, she kept taking the medicine, and she kept taking and taking.

Until she took too much.

And she nearly lost everything.

 

 

 

To be continued.

 

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Author:

I'm a wannabe writer, feminist and support LGBTQA+ rights. I'm into reading, films and being boring. Currently (trying) to write my first book

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